Trailer of the Day: Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

What the hell?!? Who gave this the greenlight??? Isn't bad enough we're still suffering through those awful Resident Evil movies? QUESTIONS!

Anyway, I'm loathe to even call this a horror movie. Silent Hill, along with the Resident Evil  flicks, are more action movies with a horror theme then they are an actual part of the genre. The first Silent Hill was a terrible mess of a film. Bad acting, boring plot, and no scares, it was a pretty poor, over-produced excuse for a horror movie.

Don't the people making these realize that horror video games are scary because of what they don't show? "Oh no! Scary nurses and that pyramid head thing! I'm terrified!!!". The only times I'm ever scared by a game is when it lets my imagination run wild. *SIGH*

At least they had the decency to put 3D in the title. I like when they do that because it lets me know which movies to never go see...

Trailer of the Day: Elves

I know it's a little past Christmas but seriously, what the hell is this! Even though I know better I have trouble believing this is a real trailer, let alone an actual movie. This is something someone made in tribute to old trailers, right? RIGHT?!?

Anyway, if you couldn't discern the plot from the above clip let me help you out. Neo-Nazis resurrect demonic elves so they can impregnate a virgin and produce a master race which will rule the world, Grizzly Adams must stop them (he's also a former detective, now mall Santa).

I can't decide if this is the worst movie idea or the best one.

Trailer of the Day: The Beast Within

Ok, I know it's cheating a little since I had this trailer along with The Manitou, but I finally saw this wonderful little gem and thought it was only fair it got it's own post, because this movie is batshit insane!

So as we all know, old horror movies are NEVER as good as the trailer (well except for THIS), but The Beast Within comes pretty close. I sat down expecting a slow, boring, monstrosity of a werewolf movie and instead got a slow burning, mean-spirited, nihilistic masterpiece!
The trailer is actually somewhat accurate too! I mean the end transformation scene may be a little hyped up, but the movie really does draw you in close only to knock you out in the last 30 minutes. If only the monster looked less rubbery...

Trailer of the Day: Evil Dead 2

Let me finish off the trifecta of movies I watched repeatedly as a child with Evil Dead 2. If there was any movie my dad rented more then House, it was...well it was probably Last Action Hero, but Evil Dead 2 was still pretty close.

There's not much to say about EV2 that hasn't been said a million times before, but I would like to know that unlike other "classics", this one is always fun to watch. What a groundbreaking observation, right?

Trailer of the Day: House

Much like yesterday's entry, when I was a child I found this movie to be both horrifying and totally strange. Unlike yesterday's entry this one is still pretty freaky.
There's actually an odd parallel between this and The Gate in my childhood. When I lived with my mother I  watched The Gate  a lot, but it was mostly just because it was on T.V. a lot. Later, when I moved in with my father, I watched House a lot. This was mostly due to my father's odd preference in movies. My dad is the toughest movie critic I've ever met, but when he finds something he likes he will watch it over and over again, which is why we watched  House a lot. Lucky for me this is actually a pretty awesome movie!

The trailer does a decent job conveying the weirdness in this flick. It doesn't really give any indication that it's pretty funny too, which something I didn't appreciate till I watched it as an adult (young me just wanted monsters).
On another note, something else I didn't realize till later in life, is that the score was done by Harry Manfredi of Friday the 13th fame. I've only recently watched my way through Friday the 13th series and since all of Harry Manfredi's scores sound the same, I kept feeling like I was watching House. Every time Jason jumped out of nowhere to murder someone I just felt relived that it was only Jason and not some horrible lovecraftian monstrosity.

Trailer of the Day: The Gate

I applaud this trailer for making The Gate look almost as bizarre and terrifying as it was when I was 10. If I remember correctly they played this movie on channel 5 about 600 times a week during the summer, which is odd considering how grotesque this movie is.

I would also like to proudly proclaim that I now own this movie on DVD. Unfortunately, now that I am an adult, it's not nearly as scary as it was when I was a child (or scary at all for that matter). It is, however, still very bizarre. I'll admit it's little rough around the edges, but I think in an odd way being able to tell how fake some of the effects are adds something to its unique brand of weirdness. With a bigger budget and maybe some better writing this might have ended up as more than just a cult classic amongst children of the 80's. If any movie ever needed a remake, it's this one!

Trailer of the Day: Troll 2

Ahhhhh, the infamous Troll 2, often times labeled the best worst movie. As a connoisseur of terrible movies, I unfortunately have to dispute this title. It makes me die a little inside when I realize that I can think of at least 4-5 movies off the top of my head that are far worse than this.
Not that this is good movie, there are just many other far worse horror movies (see Trailer of the Day: Boarding House). Even outside the realm of horror other movies have it beat. Have you ever seen Battlefield Earth? John Travolta shows up within the first 15 minutes dressed like a Klingon, sounding like Pee-Wee Herman and shoots a horse with a laser beam. If that's not a recipe for a great movie, I don't know what is!

Wait, are we still talking about bad movies...

Trailer of the Day: Troll

I haven't seen this in probably 15 years, but I remember it being one of the most awesome (awesomest?) movies ever. Watching this trailer as an adult I'd have to agree with my younger self as it does look quite awesome, but this might be for different reasons than I would've thought as a kid.
I always thought it was cool that it was a horror and fantasy movie rolled into one. Looking at it now it seems alot more fantasy than horror, especially compared to other fantasy/horror movies like Pan's Labyrinth. It's  also interesting to note that the main character is named Harry Potter Jr. and he uses magic to save the day. Prolific!

The trailer is one of those "were just going to show you everything" trailers. Why bother paying attention to the plot when you can just watch the trailer first! This one especially goes out of it's way to lay out all the details. Maybe alot of people were showing up to movies late around the time this came out and the filmakers thought they were helping people out by showing them all the important plot points ahead of time.

Trailer of the Day: Monsters

This could have also been called "Not your dads giant monster movie". Quiet and suspenseful, it's more about the people than the titular monsters, and even though said monsters are far and few between, they're still pretty awesome (and keeping them out of sight makes them much scarier). Jurassic Park came to mind several times watching this, not just in presentation but also in how the monsters acted. Like watching dinosaurs they never seemed malevolent, just very large dangerous animals.

The trailer represents the film pretty well, but still makes it seem a little too action packed. Not to mention they show all the best non-dialogue parts of the movie.