Trailer of the Day: Lord of Illusions

When I was a  kid I always thought that this movie and Candyman were Wes Craven films. Now that I've seen both I know this is not the case and that they are both in fact written, and in this case directed, by Clive Barker. I have no idea why I got confused between Clive Barker and Wes Craven, maybe I got them mixed up with  Wishmaster  and Nightmare on Elm St. or something.

Anyway, I was a little surprised at how good this was. Alot of films from this era were pretty bland but this has a weird plot, bizarre imagery, and a fair amount of gore. Excellent!
Also the entire time I was watching this I could not stop thinking about Gob from Arrested Development. "It's and Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money!".

Trailer of the Day: The Manitou a.k.a. The Beast Within (?)

Okay, so let me start by saying that bloody native american midgets floating in space are awesome!

This is but one of the many bizarre things in this movie that you do not see in the trailer. Now despite how batshit insane this movie may be, it's actually not that great. Don't get me wrong it's not a bad movie, just not that great. In fact the only reason I watched it was because I had seen the trailer as a child and it scared the crap out me, but come to find out that the trailer I had seen was not for the Manitou but for this:



Holy crap! That's got to be a terrifying film! If old horror movie trailers have taught me anything it's that...well I guess it's that....ummmmm....that....well I guess they haven't taught me anything, but the point is...I'm not actually sure what the point is but you should probably avoid both these movies...

Trailer of the Day: Hobo with a Shotgun (Original Version)

I wish so much that this was a real movie. Yes I know that they are actually making a Hobo with a Shotgun movie inspired by this trailer, but it looks more like they're making a remake instead of taking this trailer and turning it into a  full length movie.

This trailer captures alot of great stuff from the bygone days of "grindhouse" film making. It's gritty, violent, and totally ridiculous (they also say the title of the movie roughly 15 times).

Trailer of the Day: Boardinghouse

Ok, so I know people will inevitably disagree with this, but I will say that this is the worst movie ever. If you are arguing against this then you have clearly not seen the movie. I know, I know, right now your saying to yourself, "THIS GUY! Has he ever even HEARD of Troll 2!?!". Yeah yeah yeah, at least Troll 2 looked like a fucking movie and not some weird home video some dude made with his camcorder. At least Troll 2 has a semi-coherent plot. At least Troll 2  had some good acting...ok maybe Troll 2 has it beat on acting, but Boardinghouse is still pretty terrible.

Trailer of the Day: Slither

I am amused that they call this movie "so shocking...so disgusting, that it will change the face of horror forever!". I  also find this ironic because the director, James Gunn, used to work for Troma.
It's too bad he sort of disappeared though. "Slither" may not have been as shocking and disgusting as advertised, but it was still one of the better horror movies in the last 10 years (and in all fairness it was pretty gory). It has a very awesome old school sci-fi horror feel along the lines of "Critters" or "The Deadly Alien Spawn". You don't see too many like this these days.

Oh yeah, also, theres a zombie deer.

Trailer of the Day: Happy Birthday to Me

It's my birthday today! Hooray! What better trailer to post then "Happy Birthday to Me", perhaps the only birthday themed horror movie ever, and the trailer is pretty good too!
I do have a qualm with the tag line, though. "Six of the most bizarre murders you'll ever see.". Ummmmm, excuse me, I've seen alot of Troma films, so I'm pretty sure these are not going to be six of the most bizarre murders I've ever seen!

Trailer of the Day: Night of the Seagulls a.k.a. The Blind Dead 4

Now we've come to the fourth and final installment of the Blind Dead movies. I've heard numerous people say that this one is the best of the bunch, but I disagree. Not that it was bad, mind you, it just wasn't the best. Where "tombs" was slow and creeping and "return" was more action packed, this film seems like it wanted to do a little of both but doesn't really succeed either way. I would put this one at third best but only because the first two were so good. There is a wide margin between this and "The Ghost Galleon".

My only big issue with this movie is the terrible lighting. All of these movies have several scenes that are set during the night but clearly filmed during the day. In the first three this was either kept to a minimum or shot in as little light as possible (dusk or dawn), but this one has scenes that are supposed to be in the middle of the night and it looks like it was a bright afternoon! What the hell! Maybe the budget was lower or something, but it feels like they just got lazy.

Oh yeah, and the trailer is pretty boring too, worst of the four, with no unintentionally funny moments to be found.

(Also what's with the title? Night of the Seagulls? Really?!? Least menacing title since Night of the Lepus!)