Trailer of the Day: Dracula (1931)

I've recently decided that I need to brush up on my classic horror. I haven't really watched any of the Universal horror classics since I was a kid, and back then I remembered them being amazingly boring. It appears young me was correct in thinking this, at least in Dracula's case.

While it did have some good parts, most of the movie was about as engrossing as watching dirt. To be fair though, I feel like a lot of that was due to knowing the story so well. In being a classic, it defeats itself by having no surprises. Not to mention its pretty dated, but I think that goes with out saying.

However, the movie definitely has some high points. Bela Lugosi deserves every bit of praise he's ever gotten for this because he makes the movie. I just wish there were more scenes where he did... I don't know, anything! Most of his screen time consisted of him staring, but, considering how much his performance still shined, it says a lot about Lugosi's acting ability!

Dwight Fry as Renfield was also pretty great. I love his rant about the rats! Much like Lugosi, I wish we had more been able to spend more time with his character. His shift from uptight real estate agent to raving madman happens suddenly and it would have been nice to see a transitional scene in between. 

Acting aside, the film also had great atmosphere. The locations and backgrounds were the creepiest thing about it.

I've heard there's a Spanish re-edit that's scarier and a little edgier. Maybe ill have to track that down next. I just hope all the Universal horror films aren't this dull.

Trailer of the Day: Crawlspace

This movie is the definition of an underated classic.

Crawlspace is a totally bizare movie from the 80's that feels sort of like Saw with less lessons in morality and more death traps.
The basic plot is that a weird old ex-nazi owns an apartment building in which he only rents rooms to young, attractive women. This is becasue he likes to move through the crawlspace and spy on them. He also has numerous deathtraps set up and likes to sit by himself and play russian roulette.

Are you sold yet?

I love how nuts this movie is! It doesn't try and explain anything. It doesn't give any real motivation for the characters. It just sort of exists. In other movies this might be a problem, Crawlspace  has so much weird stuff going on that you don't really care.

I would say the trailer does a great job selling it except it doesn't have any parts with Klaus Kinski speaking and his oddball depressing monolouges really makes the movie. 

Trailer of the Day: The Conjuring

A friend of mine described this movie as follows:

"Not only is it a generic haunted house movie, but it's SO generic that it must be the template which all haunted house movies come from."

While I think he's pretty much dead on, I wasn't as down on it as he was. It has a couple good scares but it's still just too predictable. If you've seen a haunted house or possession movie, then you've seen this. In fact I feel like there are too many parts where it primes you for a scare then nothing happens.

On a side note, I'm amused that the trailer states: "It's not a haunting. It's not a possession". SPOILER ALERT, it's actually both! I guess since they've already shown pretty much every scare in the trailers they figured that they had to do something to draw people in. Why not just pretend the movie still has surprises!

*SIGH*

P.S. While looking up this trailer on you tube, I found this German trailer for Ghost Movie.



I don't know why, but I find this really funny. Marlon Wayans German dub is especially ridiculous.

Trailer of the Day: World War Z

Yikes! What a mess!

When I see this trailer it brings up some conflicting feelings. The book World War Z is one of the finest horror novels ever written and probably the best book about zombies ever written (Pariah by Bob Fingerman comes close), and whenever I see that name I get a little chill. Knowing this trailer exists makes me excited, however the content of the trailer...

In the book the narrator is sent on a fact finding mission by the U.N. in which he is to go around the world and interview survivors of the now finished world zombie apocalypse. With this setup the book is then comprised of firsthand accounts from survivors and how they (and the world) survived "world war z".

The strength of the book really lies in the personal side of a zombie scenario. Much like The Walking Dead, the story is so moving and frighting because it bring a big, worldwide event down to a very relateable level..  So with that said I'm going to have to talk about it as an adaptation first and then a stand alone movie.

So watching this trailer the first thing I thought is that, even though it already looks like it diverges from the book, it could still be a halfway decent adaptation. Maybe Brad Pitt's character meets some of the characters from the book or experiences some of the things described in the book.

Then the fast zombies show up.

Look, I don't have any problem with fast zombies. I thought the new Dawn of the Dead was very good but scary in a different way then the original. 28 Days Later is one of the few movies that gave me nightmares. This, however, is based on a story where fast zombies don't transfer over very well. With out giving any spoilers away, most of the scenarios in the novel can't really happen with zombies this fast.

I realize that it might be too much to ask for an exact, word-for-word Hollywood transfer, but come on. Why even buy the rights if the final project looks nothing like it's source? Did they pay all that royalty money for a cool name?

Anyway, taken out of context of the book the movie doesn't even look that good! Bad CG and explosions does not make a great movie. Who directed this, Micheal Bay?

Zombies are scary because they're personal. Zombies aren't just another monster, they're you, they're your friends, people you loved, and they're trying to kill you in the most horrible of ways. And if you get bit it's a slow death leading something even worse. Somehow a wave of bodies does not convey the creeping fear that makes zombies so scary.They could have replaced zombies with a wave of angry hobbits or Twilight style vampires and it would have been the same thing. It looks like they've taken everything that makes zombies unique and scary out of this movie.

So that's my take on this, if anyone cares. Who knows? Maybe this was just a bad choice of footage for the trailer. Maybe when the movie comes out they'll have cleaned up the special effects some. However, if this does end up being just another bad, generic horror movie, the saddest part will be that we will never get another chance at seeing Max Brook's haunting masterpiece in movie form again.

Trailer of the Day: Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

What the hell?!? Who gave this the greenlight??? Isn't bad enough we're still suffering through those awful Resident Evil movies? QUESTIONS!

Anyway, I'm loathe to even call this a horror movie. Silent Hill, along with the Resident Evil  flicks, are more action movies with a horror theme then they are an actual part of the genre. The first Silent Hill was a terrible mess of a film. Bad acting, boring plot, and no scares, it was a pretty poor, over-produced excuse for a horror movie.

Don't the people making these realize that horror video games are scary because of what they don't show? "Oh no! Scary nurses and that pyramid head thing! I'm terrified!!!". The only times I'm ever scared by a game is when it lets my imagination run wild. *SIGH*

At least they had the decency to put 3D in the title. I like when they do that because it lets me know which movies to never go see...

Trailer of the Day: The Masque of The Red Death

When the trailer for a move starts off with "AN ORGY OF SAVAGE LUSTS", you assume that the movie is gonna be preeeeeeetttttttty entertaining. You would be wrong.

I had been putting off watching any of the old Rodger Corman adaptations of Edgar Alan Poe stories. Even though I'm somewhat fond of Corman and pretty much love Vincent Price, I had always suspected that these films were going to be awful. Looks like I was right, at least for this one.

Maybe awful is a little unfair, it's a sound film, it just moves at a snails pace.. An "AN ORGY OF SAVAGE LUSTS" it is not. Maybe I'm being a little unfair to Corman too. When it was made it was probably pretty compelling, but it doesn't really hold up to the test of time. I do give him credit for sticking fairly close to the original stories that the movie is adapted from. So maybe the problem is more that Poe's stories don't hold up as well.

Oh well, at least the trailer is entertaining...

Trailer of the Day: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Why the hell did I like this movie when I was a kid?!? I think I was too young at the time to appreciate her *ahem* assets, and I'm sure I didn't get most of the lame jokes. I have no clue.

Anyway, after watching this movie as an adult I have trouble believing how awful it is. I'd give it a "mildly entertaining" at best, and that's only because I really like puns and bad jokes. Not only is most of the movie pretty bland, a lot of it is really awkward and weird too. Observe:


Wut?

Yes, that is Elvira doing a "sexy" flashdance in front of a movie theatre filled entirely with teenagers. HOW DID ANYONE THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT THAT IN THE MOVIE?!?!

*sigh*

Well, at least the casserole monster was still pretty cool...