Trailer of the Day: Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

What the hell?!? Who gave this the greenlight??? Isn't bad enough we're still suffering through those awful Resident Evil movies? QUESTIONS!

Anyway, I'm loathe to even call this a horror movie. Silent Hill, along with the Resident Evil  flicks, are more action movies with a horror theme then they are an actual part of the genre. The first Silent Hill was a terrible mess of a film. Bad acting, boring plot, and no scares, it was a pretty poor, over-produced excuse for a horror movie.

Don't the people making these realize that horror video games are scary because of what they don't show? "Oh no! Scary nurses and that pyramid head thing! I'm terrified!!!". The only times I'm ever scared by a game is when it lets my imagination run wild. *SIGH*

At least they had the decency to put 3D in the title. I like when they do that because it lets me know which movies to never go see...

Trailer of the Day: The Masque of The Red Death

When the trailer for a move starts off with "AN ORGY OF SAVAGE LUSTS", you assume that the movie is gonna be preeeeeeetttttttty entertaining. You would be wrong.

I had been putting off watching any of the old Rodger Corman adaptations of Edgar Alan Poe stories. Even though I'm somewhat fond of Corman and pretty much love Vincent Price, I had always suspected that these films were going to be awful. Looks like I was right, at least for this one.

Maybe awful is a little unfair, it's a sound film, it just moves at a snails pace.. An "AN ORGY OF SAVAGE LUSTS" it is not. Maybe I'm being a little unfair to Corman too. When it was made it was probably pretty compelling, but it doesn't really hold up to the test of time. I do give him credit for sticking fairly close to the original stories that the movie is adapted from. So maybe the problem is more that Poe's stories don't hold up as well.

Oh well, at least the trailer is entertaining...

Trailer of the Day: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Why the hell did I like this movie when I was a kid?!? I think I was too young at the time to appreciate her *ahem* assets, and I'm sure I didn't get most of the lame jokes. I have no clue.

Anyway, after watching this movie as an adult I have trouble believing how awful it is. I'd give it a "mildly entertaining" at best, and that's only because I really like puns and bad jokes. Not only is most of the movie pretty bland, a lot of it is really awkward and weird too. Observe:


Wut?

Yes, that is Elvira doing a "sexy" flashdance in front of a movie theatre filled entirely with teenagers. HOW DID ANYONE THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT THAT IN THE MOVIE?!?!

*sigh*

Well, at least the casserole monster was still pretty cool...

Trailer of the Day: The Gravedancers

The first year they did the After Dark horror fest thingy, my roommate and I went to check it out. We were only able to see one movie and choose The Abandoned, which was great, but horribly depressing and made us regret not seeing The Gravedancers, which a friend of ours said she heard was great.

She was grossly misinformed.

While not being Ghosts of Mars level boring, it was still pretty bland. The main problem I had with it is that it doesn't know if it wants to be a creepy ghost story or a freaky monster movie. There's a little creeping suspense in the beginning, but once weird (but not scary) looking ghosts show up and start tossing people around it kind of destroys the tension. But hey, it was good enough to keep half my attention while I did other stuff, so I guess that's something...

Trailer of the Day: Halloween III

Bizarre, mean-spirited, and completely underrated. Halloween III could possibly be my favorite horror film. When it came out it was widely unappreciated due to it's lack of Michael Myers, but I feel it's the best in the series. I can't tell you how much I wish the yearly anthology format of series was kept up. This is one of the most offbeat, original horror flicks ever made. I don't want to go into too much detail about the plot, so I'm just going to tell you to go watch it if you haven't seen it.

Seriously, go now!